Protests Mar Sherbrooke's Preseason Rally

SHERBROOKE - Six people are in police custody and three more are in the hospital after a preseason rally being held for fans of the Sherbrooke Mohawks turned violent when protestors were reportedly attacked, eyewitnesses claim. A group of protestors, apparently upset over the usage of Native American names and imagery in the team's branding, arrived during the rally and began to create a disturbance. Their interactions with team fans began to get hostile, and it soon devolved into a general fight.

"The Sherbrooke Mohawks organization is extremely disappointed with the outcome of our preseason rally," stated General Manager Maurice "Mo" Hawk in a press conference held the next day. "It's unfortunate that an event that we held for our fans to celebrate the upcoming season and a couple of individuals with apparently nothing better to do than cause problems decided to make the day about them. That being said, outside of the incident, the organization was very pleased with the positive engagement of our fans and this will not deter us from holding future events."


The, "incident," as Hawk called it, began when a group of unorganized protestors arrived at the event to protest the branding of Sherbrooke's SBLM franchise with Native American themes. Fans initially ignored their presence, although when Elizabeth Warren, best known as a failed presidential candidate that was, at best, not entirely truthful about having Native American ancestors, inexplicably arrived to join them, things began to get a bit more heated. The emboldened protestors began to antagonize fans, leading to several heated exchanges. Tiring of the protests, a large group of fans began to perform the Tomahawk Chop in the vicinity of the prostestors, further fueling the fire. What sparked the violence, however, nobody seems to be able to agree on.

The only constant to all stories is that Elizabeth Warren was struck in the head with a baseball, leading to her hospitalization. Protestors claimed that she was deliberately and maliciously targeted by a Sherbrooke fan, leading to them attempting to attack the alleged perpetrator. Fans interviewed that were nearby stated that it was not thrown from anywhere nearby, with others claiming it was thrown by Mario McRlwain, who was trying to throw it to a fan in the crowd, but, being a new player, simply missed and hit Warren. McRlwain, being entirely unaware of Warren's presence, denies targeting her, a story the Sherbrooke Police Department believes, as he has not been charged with any wrongdoing. Yet others have insisted that John Cena was to blame, but no eyewitnesses have reported seeing him.


Four protestors and two fans were arrested on various charges, with Warren and two other unidentified individuals being hospitalized as a result of the melee. All three are expected to be released today. No charges, fines, or discipline is expected to be levied onto the Sherbrooke Mohawks by the SBL/SBLM. Elizabeth Warren was unavailable for comment, as the tribe we contacted to reach her denied her existence.

Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, which apparently now also covers baseball. He enjoys fine spirits, the art of the suicide squeeze and the long ball.