JelloFace, er IsRealDaddy to Go Pro

As he walks to the podium, cameras flashing, Gustav takes a deep breath and takes his place before the crowd. “I am certainly glad to see all the familiar faces here today, and I know you have all taken time out of your days to be here, so I won’t waste much more of it...the reason for this press conference is simple...I am declaring my intent to go pro next season. This was not a decision I took lightly, but since I was not able to be a part of the SBLM draft a few weeks back, I was informed that despite picking to play for Pittsburgh, I would not automatically be playing there next season, that I would need to be in the SBLM draft. I weighed the decisions of either being in the SBLM draft or the SBL draft, and I figured no time is better than the present to head to the majors. I know most will want to hit their cap and then uncap to maximize their final SBLM season, but I am already leading the league in batting average, on base percentage, and steals, and I am second or third in a few other statistical categories. All this could change in the blink of an eye, but at the moment I feel I am maximizing my SBLM season, and therefore am one hundred percent confident in my decision to go pro. Thanks for coming.”